I came across a meme today that reminded me of you guys! well not all of you , but you special ones who fuck your couch for me lol. that is so entertaining. Call me soon and join the “couch club” teehee
I love to make guys jerk off in public… Here is the story of one of my callers…. First it started in his car. (You’d be surprised how many guys call from their car.) He was doing it in the far off corner of the parking lot,then he started doing it while he was driving,and he’d drive alongside higher vehicles so people inside would look down and see. He’d pull up alongside SUV’s with women passengers and look up and smile at them as they looked on in shock.
Then he went to a drive thru and flashed the girl at the window as he jerked his cock. He got the shock though when she tossed the cup of coffee and aimed for his cock! He saw what was coming and shielded it with his hand and got the back of his hand burned!
One time he started masturbating in the elevator and wanted to see if he could cum before it got to his floor and the doors opened. He just got zipped back up as the doors opened and the cleaning lady was standing there lol
Are you brave enough? Call Me : )
Another funny email that cracked Me up! A guy had bought one of My pics and wrote to ask if he could cum, I told him yes, but to put an ice cube in his ass first. He wrote back the next day saying this.
“talk about bad luck…my wife came home while I had the ice cube up my ass and I never got to cum!!”
LOL I can just see him trying to retain his composure, talking to his wife, with that ice cube melting in his ass : ) I love it.
Devotes free time to masturbation; sets aside money for items and purchases items which he thinks will enhance his masturbation experience
sets aside hours, days, weeks, weekends, vacation days, vacation weeks for the sole purpose of uninhibited masturbation;
is often disappointed when having had an orgasm, knowing that the time for masturbation is over temporarily, because he wants to masturbate forever and thinks that when it comes down to it, all he really truly wants to do is Masturbate.
Any other definitions of what you think a true addicted masturbator is?
Is your goal to become a Truly Addicted Masturbator?
Is your new years resolution to jerk off more? I hope so! I love addicted masturbators.
Do any of you have a goal you would like to reach? Like increasing the time you spend masturbating…trying always to masturbate more than yesterday?
Happy New Year to all you meat beating, dick whacking, “hand humping”, jerk off masturbators!!! lol
Ive talked to alot of wankers and there seems to be a favorite lube of choice among the most hardcore addicted masturbators. Some say its the best lube on the market.
Quote from one masturbator
“Albolene Cleansing Concentrate Albolene Moisturizing Cleanser, Unscented
white jar blue lid….hands down the BEST masturbation lube that there is.
Found in womens skin care area of most drug stores. A little goes a long
ways, does not dry out GREAT FOR EDGING, easy clean up. FEELS GREAT!!”
So there you have it! Go get some at your local Walgreens or drugstore.com. I even tried it and it is very smooth, altho be sure you only use a tiny bit until you get used to it because like he said, a little does go a long way. It leaves you feeling soo soft too : )
Grab your fave lube and call me, naughty wanker boys.
Almost no single day goes by without many incredible hours every day of frantic, constant edging-masturbating. Your addiction requires more wanking, more than ever… today, more than yesterday. Tomorrow, more than today. Wanking, always wanking, wanking, wanking and nothing other than wanking. As you get older you will wank more and with more pleasure and your addiction will be even bigger.
Male PMS = Pathetic Masturbator Syndrome
It is an incurable chronic, progressively degenerative condition. You can
only learn to accept it in your lives, and deal with its consequences.
Thats why you need ME : )
I encourage masturbating, and eating cum, and anything that makes you get even worse into your addiction.
Its so much fun to be a wanker isnt it?
Now go sit in your little masturbation chair.. i know you all have a favorite one.. lol.. and call and jerk off for me, and if you dare.. do it in front of a window.. outside somewhere… in your car.. and maybe you are hungry and will eat for me.. or else.
The only thing you can think about is jerking your cock, no matter if its a tiny little one, or a bigger one.
Are you kind of sad after cumming? like you’re thinking, darn Im done and it felt so good.. then you cant wait to do it again, and you just keep on stroking, hoping it will get stiff again.
You are a CHRONIC, COMPULSIVE, SEVERELY ADDICTED MASTURBATOR. Nothing else matters to you.
You should learn edging, if you havent already. Bring your cock up to the edge of orgasm but hold it in and dont let it cum. Do it for as long as you can without letting it cum.
If you do this, your orgasms will be even more intense.
Now get to practicing and become even more addicted.
And dont forget to call me in your delirious state of masturbating mind.