ok guys can you TRY to be a little more discrete??
Man caught furiously masturbating in a supermarket was genuinely surprised to be seen
An Oklahoma man who was arrested for masturbating in the middle of a supermarket said he was was genuinely surprised people had seen him.
Police received a call at around 12:45pm on Saturday from two Walmart customers who had seen Derek Bennett nonchalantly strolling around the store with his penis out, masturbating.
Though shocked shoppers told security, the 26-year-old managed to finish up and leave the store before the police arrived.
Officers chased Bennett in their patrol car and pulled him over.
According to KRMG TV, the man immediately admitted to exposing himself when in custody, but was genuinely surprised that he had been spotted.
He faces multiple counts of indecent exposure.
The real question of course is why Walmart?
Perhaps because it was a Walmart ‘Tire and Lube Express’ (I’m not even joking – that’s what it’s called).
This incident comes just a fortnight after a man was sentenced for playing with himself in libraries while clutching a cucumber.