Monthly Archives: June 2014

Public Masturbators

ok guys can you TRY to be a little more discrete??

Man caught furiously masturbating in a supermarket was genuinely surprised to be seen

An Oklahoma man who was arrested for masturbating in the middle of a supermarket said he was was genuinely surprised people had seen him.

Police received a call at around 12:45pm on Saturday from two Walmart customers who had seen Derek Bennett nonchalantly strolling around the store with his penis out, masturbating.

Though shocked shoppers told security, the 26-year-old managed to finish up and leave the store before the police arrived.

Officers chased Bennett in their patrol car and pulled him over.

According to KRMG TV, the man immediately admitted to exposing himself when in custody, but was genuinely surprised that he had been spotted.

He faces multiple counts of indecent exposure.

The real question of course is why Walmart?

Perhaps because it was a Walmart ‘Tire and Lube Express’ (I’m not even joking – that’s what it’s called).

This incident comes just a fortnight after a man was sentenced for playing with himself in libraries while clutching a cucumber.

OMG are you a Cucumber Masturbator??

Yes, it is possible to love cucumber too much lol


Serial cucumber masturbator sentenced after being recognised in library


A judge has sentenced a man who was seen masturbating in a public library while holding a cucumber – and it wasn’t for the first time.

Fredrick Tennyson Davis, 49, was at the Agincourt Library in Toronto, Canada, on 31 May when he was spotted by staff.

Library employees recognised the man from the last time he had been caught in flagrante delicto with a salad item after he was seen carrying out the same lewd act in the library back in April.

Constable David Hopkinson of the Toronto Police Service revealed that subtlety was not Mr Davis’ strong suit.

‘On April 7, he sits down and a 26-year-old woman sits next to him and he opens up his laptop,’

The man then started masturbating with one hand while clutching a cucumber with the other, Hopkinson said.

Mr Davis was charged with an indecent act and two counts of failure to comply with probation. York Regional Police Constable Andy Pattenden revealed that Mr Davis was charged with a similar act back in June 2012 at a different library.

It isn’t known whether Mr Davis recycles the cucumbers or uses a fresh one each time.

The judge handed down a suspended sentence and 12 months probation to the man.

When pressed as to whether Mr Davis had posed a threat to library staff, Constable Hopkinson remarked:

‘I don’t think he had any free hands to make a threat.’



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